If there are three old adages that I have found to be true over and over throughout my 4.8 decades, they are:
I am a member of the American middle class, and as part of this vast socioeconomic class that comprises nearly half of the people in the Good Old U.S. of A, I am always set on trading up.
I want and feel like I need a bigger house for my family, a flat screen TV or maybe even a "smart" TV, better phones than our pay-as-we-go TracFones and better, newer cars.
The four of us feel like we need newer and better things all around. Better health care too, as evidenced by a family member's recent treatment, which was cut short by a bureaucrat working for our HMO.mid
If you watch TV, view videos on the Internet, listen to the radio or look just about anywhere, you are barraged by a constant cacophony of advertisements urging you to buy buy buy.
The thing is, that new iPhone that is coming out (isn't there always a new one coming out?) will be obsolete sooner than you think.
If my family was to get the new vehicles that we want, fix our house and yards up to our liking, purchase the electronics that we want and go on some vacations that we would like to, we would not only go broke but would be in a large amount of debt.
If you buy into what the lenders and credit card companies advertise, you might even believe that the best solution to being overextended is to take on more debt. Perhaps a home equity line of credit to buy that new car, fix the siding and go to the Bahamas.
I am trying to embrace the philosophy of being more content with what we already have. At least for this one week, I am going to try to better appreciate what we do have.
If you and I can both learn to better appreciate what we already have, we may just both discover that the grass is not always in fact greener on the other side.
Every Day is a Tough Day
I am writing this on a Monday evening following a stressful return to work after a pretty good weekend. I do not think that very many middle class worker bees like me love Mondays very much.
Nobody, my wife included, really wanted to know much about my work day today. Oftentimes when she does ask, I start prattling on about all the meetings that I had, a perceived slight or two by my new boss or some business person that I had dealings with, and other things that amount to complaining.
My maternal grandfather taught me many things including getting me started on investing, as well as a lot of other good advice, wanted or not, over the years. He had a phrase when you asked him how he was doing, even when he was hospitalized or in failing health in a nursing home in his final year or two.
Nearly every work day that I have these days could be classified as challenging or a "tough day."
But I am striving to leave my frenetic, hectic days at work...at work. I do not want to bring my work-related stress and anxiety into my home if I can help it.
Tomorrow, I am going to park my car in front of my house like I always do when I get home. This is because my old minivan leaks oil and other fluids like crazy and I prefer to leak it all over the street in front of my house instead of all over my driveway.
Instead of making a bee-line to my house, I will take a few minutes to unwind, slow down, take some deep breaths and do my best to relax my body.
I am going to remind myself that the workday is over and that it is time to slow down and be the best husband, father and dog owner that I can be. Rather than chastise anyone for not accomplishing much around the house tomorrow during the hours when I toiled at work, I am going to smile at everyone and exclaim how good it is to be home, which it will be.
I cannot wait to get home from work tomorrow and do this.
Looking Forward to the Past
One of the cute things that I said as a young child was that "I am looking forward to the past." My mother often quotes me as saying this although I cannot remember doing so. I was only about three years old.
My mother explains this as meaning that I was looking forward to some future time, perhaps tonight even, when I could look back and reflect upon things that I did and enjoyed in the past.
Now in my late forties, I have many things in the past that I can reflect upon, although there has been just as much bad as good. Like many middle aged middle class men, I have lost quite a few loved ones during my lifetime including all four of my grandparents and my father over six years ago.
Many aunts and uncles have passed, as did my closest brother-in-law fourteen years ago when he was only twenty-five. My wife's mother passed away about nine years ago.
I do not think that that is what I meant at the tender age of three. What I probably meant was the good things, like my wedding day and my brother's and sister's wedding days. Like the births of our two children. Like the fantastic family vacations that we have taken. Like the day that we got our little sweet baby (our dog, although I cringe to call her that) nine years ago this past July.
Like the many concerts where our children starred, or the dance competitions and recitals where our daughter shined brightly. Like winning baseball championships while coaching my brother's team with our father. Like beating a seemingly unbeatable team in the basketball playoffs as an eighth grader.
I could go on and on and, in the end, I feel that the good outweighs the bad. I want to emphasize the good times over the bad and our positive experiences over the negative.
The challenges that you and I face today will likely appear more clearly and will seem less urgent when looked at months or years later. I know that my current challenges and work-related anxiety is not permanent even though it feels like it could go on for years. Having already survived a terrible boss and work experience for three years prior to going to my current position, I know how it feels to be miserable at work every day for a period of years, and it is not something that I wish to repeat.
What will be most relevant when I look back at this challenging time in mid-life is that I have a wife and two children, and a dog, that I love dearly. My mother is still with us and I cherish that, even though she would still like to exert some measure of influence over what I do, where I go, etc., and I make enough money to provide for the basics and set aside money for our children's college accounts, a little bit for my wife's and my retirement accounts, and take a little vacation every now and then.
Through my extensive reading and via this blog, I have embarked on my own spiritual growth and am gaining new insights that I share with my readers.
I am naturally a worrier, but am working on mitigating that and trying to enjoy the present more instead of constantly worrying about the future.
I may have been "looking forward to the past" forty-four years ago, but now I am looking forward to the future while having learned a lot in the past.
- Be Careful What You Wish For - It May Come True;
- Don't Count Your Chickens Before They're Hatched; and
- The Grass Always Looks Greener From the Other Side.
I want and feel like I need a bigger house for my family, a flat screen TV or maybe even a "smart" TV, better phones than our pay-as-we-go TracFones and better, newer cars.
If you watch TV, view videos on the Internet, listen to the radio or look just about anywhere, you are barraged by a constant cacophony of advertisements urging you to buy buy buy.
The thing is, that new iPhone that is coming out (isn't there always a new one coming out?) will be obsolete sooner than you think.
If my family was to get the new vehicles that we want, fix our house and yards up to our liking, purchase the electronics that we want and go on some vacations that we would like to, we would not only go broke but would be in a large amount of debt.
If you buy into what the lenders and credit card companies advertise, you might even believe that the best solution to being overextended is to take on more debt. Perhaps a home equity line of credit to buy that new car, fix the siding and go to the Bahamas.
I am trying to embrace the philosophy of being more content with what we already have. At least for this one week, I am going to try to better appreciate what we do have.
If you and I can both learn to better appreciate what we already have, we may just both discover that the grass is not always in fact greener on the other side.
Every Day is a Tough Day
I am writing this on a Monday evening following a stressful return to work after a pretty good weekend. I do not think that very many middle class worker bees like me love Mondays very much.
Nobody, my wife included, really wanted to know much about my work day today. Oftentimes when she does ask, I start prattling on about all the meetings that I had, a perceived slight or two by my new boss or some business person that I had dealings with, and other things that amount to complaining.
My maternal grandfather taught me many things including getting me started on investing, as well as a lot of other good advice, wanted or not, over the years. He had a phrase when you asked him how he was doing, even when he was hospitalized or in failing health in a nursing home in his final year or two.
Seriously, this guy could have just undergone a major surgery and he would not complain about pain. As a matter of fact, I do not believe that he ever complained at all, even after having been brought up in a poor household and having worked thankless jobs for forty years."I'll complain on the thirty-second of the month."
Nearly every work day that I have these days could be classified as challenging or a "tough day."
But I am striving to leave my frenetic, hectic days at work...at work. I do not want to bring my work-related stress and anxiety into my home if I can help it.
Tomorrow, I am going to park my car in front of my house like I always do when I get home. This is because my old minivan leaks oil and other fluids like crazy and I prefer to leak it all over the street in front of my house instead of all over my driveway.
Instead of making a bee-line to my house, I will take a few minutes to unwind, slow down, take some deep breaths and do my best to relax my body.
I am going to remind myself that the workday is over and that it is time to slow down and be the best husband, father and dog owner that I can be. Rather than chastise anyone for not accomplishing much around the house tomorrow during the hours when I toiled at work, I am going to smile at everyone and exclaim how good it is to be home, which it will be.
I cannot wait to get home from work tomorrow and do this.
Looking Forward to the Past
One of the cute things that I said as a young child was that "I am looking forward to the past." My mother often quotes me as saying this although I cannot remember doing so. I was only about three years old.
My mother explains this as meaning that I was looking forward to some future time, perhaps tonight even, when I could look back and reflect upon things that I did and enjoyed in the past.
Now in my late forties, I have many things in the past that I can reflect upon, although there has been just as much bad as good. Like many middle aged middle class men, I have lost quite a few loved ones during my lifetime including all four of my grandparents and my father over six years ago.
Many aunts and uncles have passed, as did my closest brother-in-law fourteen years ago when he was only twenty-five. My wife's mother passed away about nine years ago.
I do not think that that is what I meant at the tender age of three. What I probably meant was the good things, like my wedding day and my brother's and sister's wedding days. Like the births of our two children. Like the fantastic family vacations that we have taken. Like the day that we got our little sweet baby (our dog, although I cringe to call her that) nine years ago this past July.
Like the many concerts where our children starred, or the dance competitions and recitals where our daughter shined brightly. Like winning baseball championships while coaching my brother's team with our father. Like beating a seemingly unbeatable team in the basketball playoffs as an eighth grader.
I could go on and on and, in the end, I feel that the good outweighs the bad. I want to emphasize the good times over the bad and our positive experiences over the negative.
The challenges that you and I face today will likely appear more clearly and will seem less urgent when looked at months or years later. I know that my current challenges and work-related anxiety is not permanent even though it feels like it could go on for years. Having already survived a terrible boss and work experience for three years prior to going to my current position, I know how it feels to be miserable at work every day for a period of years, and it is not something that I wish to repeat.
What will be most relevant when I look back at this challenging time in mid-life is that I have a wife and two children, and a dog, that I love dearly. My mother is still with us and I cherish that, even though she would still like to exert some measure of influence over what I do, where I go, etc., and I make enough money to provide for the basics and set aside money for our children's college accounts, a little bit for my wife's and my retirement accounts, and take a little vacation every now and then.
Through my extensive reading and via this blog, I have embarked on my own spiritual growth and am gaining new insights that I share with my readers.
I am naturally a worrier, but am working on mitigating that and trying to enjoy the present more instead of constantly worrying about the future.
I may have been "looking forward to the past" forty-four years ago, but now I am looking forward to the future while having learned a lot in the past.
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