A Very Expensive Letter

Before I explain a very expensive letter, allow me to provide some background.

Many years ago, in fact several decades ago, my family was attending a Passover Seder at the same home where my mother, my wife, my children and I will be going in a few weeks.  As Jews, Passover seders were and remain one of the few Jewish things that we do every year.  My children hate it and my wife gracefully tolerates it, not knowing one word of Hebrew.

Back in the early nineties, as I had just recently obtained a BA in Communications from UW-Madison and my sister was in the middle of obtaining her BA in French from Northwestern, our host launched into a long rant about the uselessness of liberal arts degrees.

His son, my oldest friend, had already obtained a BA in electrical engineering and was in pursuit of a master’s degree in the same field from Princeton on full scholarship.  Incidentally, my oldest friend is now a multi-millionaire, but back in the early nineties he was just a super-smart grad student.

At that particular time, I had recently commenced my difficult eight years of being a Probation Officer for the Cook County Adult Probation Department and was making in the mid-twenties.  My long-time friend was earning more than that while working for Princeton doing research as a graduate assistant and receiving a full tuition waiver.

This was a quarter of a century ago, when my late father was in full bloom and my younger sister and brother were still in their teens.

My father, having been an English major who parlayed his writing skills into a moderate level of success, and my mother, who taught English for over two decades in a number of schools and still lives off of the royalties on my late father’s work, took great exception to our host’s comments.

Jews tend to argue over food, but I never wanted to argue at someone else’s table with many people present who we do not really know about something that I kind of agreed with.  Our host, who will again be hosting us in several weeks, was in IT since back in the seventies and most of the other Jewish grown men at the gathering were in professions often associated with being a mensch – lawyers, doctors, accountants and engineers.

Both of my parents embarrassed me somewhat, pointing out that they have done alright considering that they were two English majors, albeit having graduated from New Trier High School and Northwestern University (my mother also obtain a master’s degree and graduated a few months before I was born), and that I had just landed a “real job” as a liberal arts major.  Even back then, I knew that being a P.O. was a shitty job for someone with my intellect and drive who held a liberal arts B.A.

So who am I to judge in 2018 that our fantastic, talented, ultra-smart, hard-working son is pursuing a music major when friends of his with far lesser knowledge, work ethic and learning ability are becoming engineers, pharmacists and computer scientists?  I do not just think, but I know that these kids will be landing solid jobs in the next few years, not just waiting tables, driving Ubers or doing gigs on Fiverr for a few bucks here and there.

Do I worry that our son will be playing in bars late at night for $100 in cash and free food?  You bet!

Does he want to suck it up and become a middle school music teacher?  Hell no.  He wants to be out in front of an audience doing his thing, fronting a band on his trumpet or at least being part of one. 

As I pay $2,500 to his school month after month, including earlier today, I do think that I would be less worried about doing so if he was becoming a computer scientist or engineer, both of which would require less hours and homework than what he currently does, and by a lot.

No, he is pursuing his dream and far be it for me to discourage that.  Out of all of the self-help and financial advice books that I have read, many of them advise to pursue something that you love and to chase your dreams.  He can always go back and become an accountant, I suppose, if the music thing does not work out.  We joke with him that he could always major in something easier than music, like physics, because he commenced his college career with three physics courses already completed through his AP credits.

So imagine my surprise a few weeks ago when my son described a business concept that he had thought of while our family was having dinner a few Sunday nights ago.  My mind was racing with excitement, but I reminded myself to try to be a better listener and hear him out.

What do you know?

After reading hundreds of books on the topic and never having really thought of a truly unique business model, myself, my jazz-loving music major son thought of a totally unique business model related to the music business.  I was in shock.

He is taking a music business course currently, which may have spurred him into considering how to make a few shekels doing what he loves besides touring bars and small concert venues with degenerate musician friends.

That is not fair – most of them are degenerates, but not all of them.

Anyway, without ever having read the advice to find an unmet need and then try to fill it, that is the idea that my son came up with.  I am not going to share details because a wealthy individual may be able to easily launch this business with ten or fifteen grand.  Besides that, the concept it is for a service that only the more serious musicians in the higher echelons of high school and nearly all college-level musicians could use.  Not necessarily for beginners or the kids in high school who do music but don't give a crap about it.

Musicians not being known to be the most tech savvy and business-minded as a group, my son came up with a niche business that many people would pay for, whatever the business model may be.  

Personally, I favor annual licenses.  Since it is the type of thing that music schools and band programs may want to provide for all of their students instead of making each one pay $30 or $50 or whatever on their own, a school license for 100-200 users should probably go for $299, $399 or something like that.  I favor continual income and a program that you could tweak, add to and improve upon over the years over something that might make a large sum all at once and then peter out just as fast.  

Anyway, it is not about the money at this point.  Another thing that all the gurus preach is to work at perfecting the service or product rendered before obsessing over the financial rewards.

As a long-time suffering economic developer, I have worked with more businesses than I could count.  Probably in the thousands.

What I have never really done is helped a friend or relative start one.  Mostly, they have started and grown businesses on their own, without any assistance or guidance from me.  In most cases, I do not know anything about their businesses beyond what they tell me.  I deal in the brick-and-mortar world and in one town only.

Well, the business that my son conceived of would not require brick and mortar, but would require ten thousand or more to launch.  Although he could probably raise that much and far more on a platform like Kickstarter or GoFundMe, I am adamant about him retaining full ownership.  I do not want him to build a million dollar business, only to distribute 95% of the proceeds to investors.

Just this morning, I read about several business founders in Inc. magazine who regretted taking venture capital.  One because the business's investors felt that the business was not growing fast enough and another who wanted to sell the company although the founder did not want to.

No, I do not want my son to be beholden to pay someone a large percentage of his gains over the years because they invested a few thousand bucks into his venture in the late teens or early twenties.  I would rather have him lose my hard-earned money or his own if it fails, but also reap the gains if it does not.

I am realistic and realize that most business ventures fail.

What About the Expensive Letter?

Okay, you’re right, I should get to that.

One of the more fun aspects of launching a business is naming it.  A catchy name, friendly to SEO, and that lends itself to a great logo can be worth millions in the long-run.  I have seen many a business struggle due to being poorly named, where potential customers are not quite sure of what the business is.

That is one thing that I could most definitely work with.

Neither I nor my son are ready to launch this quite yet.  He is busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest and is simply trying to complete this semester.  I am much the same at my job, although I obviously find several hours to write throughout the week in addition to my obsessive reading.  I spend most of what could be considered my "free time" reading and writing.

That said, over the summer I plan on forcing him to at least put a few pages of a business plan together, just so I can look at it from time to time and utilize some of my connections and research ability to flush it out further.  Perhaps bring it to a SCORE office with him over the summer, with TM notations all over it and a casual mention of my brother being a young, hungry attorney who would not hesitate a minute to sue someone's ass off for stealing the idea.

The last thing that I want is someone who has the technological know-how, connections and funding to quickly put together this business concept before my son does.

So after hearing his business idea out and having a difficult time containing my excitement, I started blurting out potential names for the business.

Mostly, I recall adding the letter "z" to the end of it.  Imagine if you will that the business idea is making bottles.  Then my business name was the equivalent of "Bottlz" or if it was shirts than the name "Shirtz."  I thought the business name clever; however my more up-to-date children thought it old-fashioned and lame.  My wife agreed with them.

I threw out a few other names, all of which were summarily dismissed.

I went to sleep that night thinking about my son's business; how much it would cost, who we might hire to do the technological work as well as the talent for playing the music and what recording studio to rent, etc.  Of course, the name of it was on my mind.

The three music-related businesses that we patronize most often online are Musician's Friend, Jazzbooks.com and Woodwind Brasswind.  Of course, like any other product, we order even more things like mouthpieces and music books off of Amazon and its affiliates.

I am a light sleeper and wake up several times per night due to having an enlarged prostate.  That may qualify as TMI, but it is something that effects me and my wife every night of our lives, so it is worth mentioning.  It is not uncommon for me to wake up several times per night.

So when I shot up straight in bed in the middle of the night, or very early Monday morning depending on your point of view, a name just came right out of my mouth.  A letter "i" in front of the business name.

Why hadn't I thought of that earlier?  Of course, the letter "i" in front of what the business is makes perfect sense.  Everybody loves their iPhones, iPads, iTunes and iWhatevers, but what about serious musicians using a combination of services and products with an "i" in front of it.

I went to the computer and despite being possibly years away from launching this business, I was determined to purchase the domain name for my son.  What is a ten or so bucks per year when I pay over $2,500 per month to his college and another eight to ten grand to cover everything else, when the name of this business, coupled with my son's fastidious and detail-oriented nature, could help launch a multi-million dollar enterprise?

The letter "i" in front of the business name costs $5,750 for the domain.

Imagine how surprised I was to first find that the domain name that I wanted is still available.  However, because of the letter "i" in front of the word, the domain name is considered premium and is for sale at the hefty price of $5,750.

Currently reading Malcolm Gladwell's great book, Outliers: The Story of Success, I realize that a wealthy family would simply purchase the name for their son, hire a highly talented web and/or mobile app designer for the same amount and then rent the studio time and hire the top-quality musicians needed to start this venture, all at a cost of twenty thousand or more.

My best friend's father would have done that for him at the same age, good or bad.  I know that my younger brother would fork over the dough no questions asked, but I do not want my son to be beholden to him and it would be very embarrassing for me for him to do so.  He has a very high-maintenance wife, three kids of his own, a new house that he is remodeling as well as a high-priced house that he rents out and must maintain in the northwest suburbs.  My brother also has two law offices to maintain, so the last thing that I would want my son to do is hit him up for money.

No, I want my son to do this thing on his own if he decides to pursue it.  I will most likely pay for most of it and may help him seek out a loan for the remainder.  Maybe my upcoming eBooks will sell decently and I can put some of that money to work.  After all, that is how the financial gurus say to do it.  It takes money to make more, and what better way to make our money work for us than to put it into a family-owned business venture that could pay dividends for years or decades to come.

But would I pay nearly six grand for the letter "i" in front of the business name?  If I had a million or two in the bank today I would, but for the time being, perhaps we should look into the letter "E," which I just looked up and is also considered a premium domain but only a bit over a thousand bucks.

I had better start working more on putting some eBooks out because I really want to buy the business name with the letter E in front of it for a grand.

As I mentioned, my son is a talented musician and an even more talented composer.  For high school graduation, we purchased a Selmer K Modified Paris model trumpet for him that he had been coveting for a number of years.

It cost just over a grand, which I scrounged up two springs ago by not taking any sick days at work for a solid year, despite having been sick a few times, and then cashing out the maximum amount of sick days allowed by my employer (six) at fifty percent rate, which netted me about $900.  The Selmer ran about $1,200 by my recollection.  Quite a nice gift for a middle class family to give their trumpet-loving son.

Two springs away from graduating from college, our son has hinted at a much fancier, customized trumpet that runs about five grand.  And that after shelling out over a hundred grand for four years with a daughter starting college the next year.  He has also never been to New York, nor have I, and he also hinted at wanting to travel there for a graduation present.

If I were a rich man, I would buy him a customized trumpet for graduation and take him to New York City to visit the jazz clubs and see all the sights.  That would cost us even more than five grand.

But, alas and alack.  I am not a rich man.  So it has me wondering.  Maybe I'll shell out the grand to buy the domain name, a few hundred bucks to each of the most talented musicians from my son's college and a few hours in a recording studio.  Illinois has lowered its LLC costs to a mere $150, so I can incorporate his business and list myself as the secretary to receive legal documents.

We would be fairly broke for a while, but when someone, anyone, asks my son what he is doing with himself following graduation, besides telling them that he is looking into or about to embark on his graduate studies, he can tell them that he is launching a business.  Because it will have the letter "e" in the name, people will take it more seriously.

Maybe even our Seder host.